June 16th 2015

First year of university has finally come to an end, it has been been a year of turbulent emotions, fun nights as well as new friends and experiences. 

I know what everyone says about uni and honestly it lives up to that and more, maybe not everyone experiences it the same way but one thing is for sure you meet people that you know will be in your life forever. Initially uni was supposed to be a way for me to start over, but instead of that happening it added to the life I already have enriching it to capacity which I guess is what new experiences are supposed to do. The past isn't forgotten and the future remains unwritten perhaps I won't pass this year, or maybe my hard work has paid off either way I have no regrets.

Truth be told, that is a lie - I have a lot of regrets that I will carry forward with me as I continue to make mistakes and inevitably grow as a person but any errors have made things clearer for me in the long run. I understand myself a little more as I grow more independent and spend more time alone just developing me. I've matured a lot and I guess that comes with finally standing on my own two feet. I realise that in the past I have been immature and petty and because of that have ruined some relationships in my life but at the end of the day isn't that all a part of growing up? 

You think I would have figured this all out by now, I am 20 after all but I believe that no matter how old you get there is still room for growth. 

Nottingham has become home to me and I couldn't picture myself living anywhere else but then I remember the good times living abroad in East Africa and just travelling to different places and countries and I know that Nottingham isn't my last stop. I've been to more countries in the last 3 years than I have in my entire life and seen parts of the world that were at one point in time foreign to me and all of this gives me a better understanding of life. I see things when I travel and I hear about life experiences that people I know have had; everything adds to my life instead of subtracting from it. 

I guess I should have known from the very beginning that you can't just erase yourself one day and expect to start fresh the next no matter how much you wish you can. Who we are is imprinted on our personality and the way we are, so even if I chose to go by a different name and changed my appearence my soul would still be the same. That sounds cheesy as hell and honestly it is but I've realised no matter how much I tried to change me this year to prove I am somehow a better person and can do better nothing really changed, I just upgraded myself for a better version of me, not a completely new me. 

University has definitely changed me, now over summer is where I find out if it has been for the better.