So I just rewatched a movie, yeah you guessed it; 'Friends with Benefits' and just to clear something up the attractiveness of Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake combined just throws the definition of beautiful right out of the window. However there is still a major issue with the movie in its entirety, the unattainable and down right impossible scenario it has lovesick girls believing is both unfair and frankly psychologically damaging. We are basically held hostage by the idea of perfection that we are unable or unwilling to deal to with disappointment.
Back to the point I'm not sure I'll ever be able to actually get across in writing, I am talking from experience when I say the whole Friends With Benefits (FWB) thing does not work out like that movie. For those who haven't watched it however basically two people meet, become best friends that have sex, they fall out at some point and then he suddenly realises he is madly in love with her as he sits with his dad pantless in a busy restaurant. This self realisation of course leads him to organising a flashdance and using those three big words that every girl, no matter how much in denial they are, has always wanted to hear 'I love you' and then they continue on whatever sexual exploits they had in mind, obviously the producers/writers were smart enough to leave it there because of course that is when realism begins to challenge the idealistic picture they have left floating around in your head. Ideas that are actually made to make you want to have the relationship they have, the whole don't care what you look like, honest about everything, just plain fun thing. Also the background music and setting does a whole lot to make you buy the story, if it was based on a moon and all you could hear was crickets chirping you would not believe the story for a second. Now if you bring aliens into the mix, I can tell you right now the sci-fi audience will eat it up, but obviously those writers aim more for the vulnerable romantics that the geek patrol.
Anyway, now the whole synopsis thing is out the way, let me tell you why I know it won't work out... I have attempted the whole friends with benefits deal twice in my life, the first time I was already in love with him and thought the only way I would be able to keep him in my life was by being the kinda girl that was okay with casual hook ups. Needless to say that didn't work out, apparently being in love or thinking you are prevents emotions from being removed from the equation. Basically it is extremely complicated maths.
The second time I was actually okay with the casual hook ups and held no sort of ownership over the girl, because let's face it I wasn't in the zone for a relationship at the time. Things were great on both ends, almost platonic with the occasional urge to scratch an itch, or play tennis (quoting the analogy used in the film) but again, things can never be perfect. Because when the other half of your FWB finds something more permanent or maybe just something better you have no claim over what they do or who they do it with. This means that you no longer have constant access to a friend that you feel comfortable being completely naked around, and by naked I'm not talking about having no clothes, there is a deeper nakedness that comes with intimacy, maybe you can call it nakedness of the soul? I'm not sure if my soul has been stripped to its all natural state yet, but I'm actually not all about the whole idealistic love anymore, but I do realise that because of expectations FWB basically went from being complicated maths to some mission impossible feat where balancing is the equation is impossible.
Is there seriously no balance between lovers and friends? Does that mean that most guys can't be friends with girls because deep down there is the fear that they may cross into the boundary of lovers? God, so many question for a girl that doesn't actually think that love is like the movies I am sure hung up on the details. Maybe movies help remove the bullshit because you watch then knowing that real life seriously isn't like that, now I'm not saying that in a cynical way because I believe that love is sorta real, just don't necessarily believe it to the extent of movies.
Can someone please answer me this, is there anything wrong with a girl wanting fuck, someone that comes with exclusivity yet no emotions?
I know it's make belief but if only FWB worked as well as it did in the movies.
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