Trust

The dictionary definition of 'Trust'

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2. confident expectation of something; hope.

3. a person on whom or thing on which one relies

4. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.

And after all that I still don't think I understand the word... My life has become a game of Chinese whispers, I tell someone who I thought I could ''Trust" something in confidence and it becomes public knowledge. Even when I don't tell anyone, everything I do comes back to bite me in the rear end, and hard.

I have reached that point where I think the best thing I can do is remain quiet, not allow anyone into my life, keep them at a distance. Not let anyone know my secrets. Aren't you a lot safer when your secrets are in actual fact secrets??

I'm tired of being the punch line to a joke, or the girl people talk about when I'm not around to defend myself. Seriously the 'haters make you famous' saying does not mean a thing when you are famous for all the wrong reasons. 

Everyone has the right to do what they want to do, without having to worry about what the person next to you will say. Its your life, it doesn't involve anyone... yet we allow people in, we believe they have our best interests at heart. But do they really?

I really am trying to figure that out right now... I have no idea who to trust, I'm having a crisis of faith where I don't even think I can trust myself anymore